Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tuesday Goods

First I would like to say:

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, scroll down to my other recent posts and visit my links to the Whitt family. =]

This is pretty much going to be boring and an informative update from here on out, just a warning!

Onto the Neurosurgeon visit:

Last year, after my mom was diagnosed with cancer, they did a full body scan to determine how advanced it was. This includes the head. They first questioned the tumor on her pituitary gland, but ruled that as non-cancer due to the fact that it's been there for 9 years and is genetic. But there were some random spots found on the base of her skull. They couldn't do a biopsy on these because it was too risky, so they were just going to burn them with some radiation. Translation: they have no idea if they were cancer or not. Only a week went by before she had her day-before-scan, and they called that afternoon and canceled the procedure for the following day because the spots were mysteriously gone. If they were cancer, there is a chance that the chemo got them in that week, if they weren't, the chemo probably still got them but the chance of them coming back is high.

Well, we went this morning to get the results of the 3monthslater scans and there is still nothing. Which is amazing! :D Couldn't have been better! She'll go back again in three months, and if still nothing, every six months for a few years. Sweet!

On the Abby Custody Front:

Because I suddenly realize I didn't have this blog then, I'll do a mini-background on this. TJ and Steph were killed on September 14th last year in the hurricane here in Ohio while on a charity motorcycle ride. We've been friends with their family forever and TJ's stepmom is one of my mom's best friends. It just so happened that we were at their house that day throwing a big surprise party for my mom when the call came in.

They left behind their baby girl, Abby, who was six months old at the time. This morning was the "official custody hearing," which turned out not to be very official. But, it actually worked out quite well, to be honest, and I will describe this here mostly because I think if I don't write it down I'm going to forget it haha. You can pretty much ignore this if you want, it's going to be boring.

In October the guardianship hearing was held, where they appointed 3 guardians (...I don't honestly know why) of her maternal grandmother, maternal great aunt and paternal great aunt. The hearing today was to settle single guardianship and set a date for the adoption hearing. However, the results of today changed nothing and there are still three guardians for her, the same three as before. Apparently by doing this, the adoption hearing could be pushed up several months. I'm not really sure why this is, but it is. Before the hearing would have been at the end of the summer, now it's in the middle of April.

There are three people who have applied for adoption and as far as we know, there will only be three: her maternal grandmother, her maternal grandfather, and her paternal uncle and aunt. The lowdown is basically this: the maternal grandmother is nuts and should not be left alone with kids, the maternal grandfather is a really great guy, but he's very aged, so basically the best choice if the aunt and uncle: J&L. They are the most logical choice and the best one, the only problem is this: They live in New Jersey. All of Abby's family is here or in Michigan besides them, and that's the only real hold up. But it's basically like this: as soon as J&L found out about TJ and Steph, they immediately said they wanted Abby. They lived in a one bedroom flat in NYC, and within one week had moved out of the city into a townhouse, taking an $18,000 hit. They've set up her nursery, everything is ready to go, they got married (had planned on doing so next summer, but just did a little ceremony early figuring they could sacrifice that), and they are here every other week spending as much time with Abby as they can and I can't even begin to imagine how much that is costing them but they are doing it because it's what's best for her. They have no other children, they are both lawyers. They want her, and it's the best place for her.

But right now she still has three guardians, with which she is spending one week each with. Which is really disconcerting for me because that means she has no consistency and kids really need consistency, but it's better that it gets resolved quicker I suppose. The adoption hearing will be in April, and after that the magistrate has 60 days to make a decision. Yes, that does mean it could be mid-June until she decides. And then people have 2 weeks to make an objection to her decision and if that happens, then they have to set up a court date with a different judge to present their case as to why the decision was not the right one--this part is what will take the longest, we think, because it's getting in to see this particular judge that is really impossible to do quickly. But, if no one objects in those two weeks, then he just has to sign off on it and Abby will officially be adopted. The part that sucks about this is that she'll be almost one and a half before it's final. And if the maternal grandmother doesn't get custody, there is a large chance she will object, just because.

The good thing about this? When the magistrate was talking today she said "when she goes to New Jersey" and then doubled back and corrected herself. There is certainly hope there!

Okay, done being boring now :) I'm just excited!

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Ugh. That is SO sad. I'm so sorry your loss! Fortunetly for Abby it seems like there are a lot of people who love her and she will be well taken care of.