An Affair with the Diamond Family

Up until this very day, I never thought I needed someone spectacular. I thought I just needed someone who would always be there and would get the job done and still be gorgeous at the end of the day. I didn't think I needed to spend much of my life on this someone; thought a few bi-weekly months would be more than enough to satisfy me. I didn't even think I wanted to choose the one with whom I spent the rest of my life.

But then I walked in to my friend Fred Meyer's and I met this:

and we fell instantly in love as soon as his smooth white gold brushed my skin. I've tried everything, but I can't get him out of my thoughts. I didn't even think I liked his kind before today. But, I'm afraid that it would never work out between Mr. Diamond and I. We live in different worlds. He lives in the land of prosperity, and I in the land of retail and pre-military.

Things are farther complicated by his younger brother, Mr. Smaller Diamond, who is trying desperately to woo me for himself. But I am firm in my restriction, and it is not by choice. He is just not as handsome as his older brother. The sparkle is just not the same. However, Mr. Smaller Diamond lives only in the world of CouldSqueezeByLand, and that is a much closer country than Prosperity.


But both may lose to my internet love affair with Mr. Crown Prince. I met mister Crown late one night when I was feeling like a kiss, and he certainly delivered. You know, over the internet. Mr. Crown is certainly original, and he knows exactly where to live to make me happy. In fact, he's even willing to move closer and change the center of himself just to please me. We are much closer than Mr. Smaller Diamond and I could ever be. If only we could meet in person...


Mr. Diamond, however, also has a cousin the same age. All their lives they have fought for the best of the best, and it is no surprise that he has also attempted to bed me. Mr. Cathedral, however, is not as gorgeous as he thinks and has an even slimmer shot than his younger cousin, Mr. Small Diamond, since they live in the same world. But damn, is Mr. Cathedral scintillating.


And lastly, Baby Diamond is pulling for my attention. He has many of the same features of his father, Mr. Diamond, but as a baby does not have the same glamour. But, he's just so darn cute with all his baby talk that one can't help but entertain his chubby baby figure. Plus, he lives in my world (did I mention he's a bastard child?)


But, isn't Mr. Diamond so amazingly sexy? Just look at his shimmering face of loveliness:



So, who is your favorite Diamond boy?