The Decision: YES!

Thank you all for your advice on this past entry, it did help a bit!

I had been wrestling with this for a week or so before I posted it, and I think writing it out and analyzing it on paper really helped as well (I'm pretty sure the writer's brain should be it's own genre of human).

We had serious discussion night tonight (the worst night of all, we should probably wear mourning clothes on these nights) and got everything out in the open for both of us. We know our timeline and our plan. We are going to move in together this summer, probably around June-ish, and we will be engaged sometime in the month before that. He wants to be engaged before we move in together because of his family and Catholic values and all that jazz, which is fine, but we are both big believers in the live-with-them-before-you-marry-them philosophy so we both know this is the right thing to do. I'm pretty sure normal people don't set a date to get engaged, but then again we've never been normal! ;)

B wants to be in active duty for his entire career in the Air Force. I know this. It's what he wants. But, we were talking about this and my concerns with being away from all I've ever known and he said this: "I have to get my 4 years of active duty done. But, if after that we are stationed somewhere and you decide you can't do it and want to come back, I will go reserve and we can come back to Ohio." This statement made everything right for me. Not because I know that's what's going to happen, because I don't and I really don't want it to happen, but because he's willing to give up everything he wants for me. I love him so much :D

So: Yes! I'll be a married woman in 2010!