For Unemployment, Please Press 1 (Por Espanol, Prensa Dos)

I lost my job tonight. I wish wholeheartedly that I could say this surprised me, but it doesn't. I think, and this is solely from what I can see and make assumptions of, that our company is in trouble. We only sell three things (all media) and we're clearancing out our entire stock of one of them, and a good part of another, and the reason all the people in my department were laid off today was because of a 350 hour budget cut for April. That's...insane.

I guess I should probably clarify and say that I did not actually lose the job. They just didn't schedule any of us for the month of April. My manager came up and talked to me today and said "hopefully it will only be for a month." Well, if you have ears or eyes that function, you know the economy is not getting better (Where the crap is the Easy Button for that?!) and if it only last a month I'll be the first to admit how very wrong I was, but I don't see that happening. That's basically like a "sorry we had to can you because no one has any money, but you can keep your health insurance and discount for at least a month" story. I mean, I was only getting 12 hours a week anymore as it was, but that was 12 hours...and that was enough to keep my bank from knocking on my door demanding money. I literally had $9 in the bank yesterday. $9. This is not a good scenario.

Between the time that I found this out tonight, 30 seconds before my shift, and the time I told B...maybe half an hour later...I went from "eh, whatever" to "holy crap, what am I going to do?" to "if anyone says one word to me about this, I'm going to cry and be that girly hormonal chick who cries at work" to "I really want ice cream after this, but I can't afford it." But then I told B and, bless the man of greatness, he knows me way too well and his first instinct was to offer to take me out for ice cream after my shift (he also brought me a rose. have I mentioned how much I love this man lately??). I thought I had completely suppressed by awesome emotional state when my manager came over and apologized for having to cut all of us, but I was apparently wrong, because it took all of maybe 20 seconds for my eyes to tear up. But I was tactful and grabbed my water bottle and took a drink while he was talking and straightened things to avoid both the conversation and looking him in the eye, and I never passed the tear up stage. Phew.

I don't know where I will go from here. I also lost the job I was to have this summer this week, which was a fantastic addition to my Unmentionable Monday (returning people suck). I was serious the last time I said something about looking for a second job--I was looking, I put out applications, and got a couple hits but they weren't things I could logically do (i.e. full time, office 8-5 hours, etc. etc.). I'm currently trying to get a part-time position at an 8-5 medical office where they need a full-time position, but so far have been unsuccessful at persuading.

I know I'll figure it out, but right now I am not bothering to look at the happy side. Tomorrow, I'll be smiling and fine. Today, I'm embracing my whiney side.